Sunday, 18 December 2016

Week 50 in pictures

Week 50 of 2016 began with our 29th wedding anniversary on the Monday.  It was a magical day even though we hadn't planned anything beyond spending our Tesco vouchers in Pizza Express in the evening, as we both had to work during the day. There was a big old supermoon thing happening in the sky which seemed to pervade everything and first thing in the morning we opened our cards together, which we don't usually do.  As pulled our respective cards out of their envelopes we both broke into laughter as they were sooo similar!  The trees full of hearts in both pictures really sum up where we are at the moment in our a time of real growth and change and blossoming, asf well as having the strong roots and years of establishment like a tree does, so in our relationship.  How blessed do I feel to be with this person on our life's journey together.  The cards seem to symbolise for me that we finally seem to be on the same page as far as taking our lives forward.  We are working on our emotional patterns for attracting abundance, and for feeling that we deserve to keep it.  Dave has let go of the need to be serious and grumpy about our finances, which sometimes felt to him like the only thing he could control about it, and that by being joyless, at least he was taking the situation seriously!  After I gently pointed this out to him, and suggested that he could be actively and seriously be working to improve things and simultaneously allow himself to experience peace and joy, he has changed beyond belief.  I can really begin to believe after years of trying that we could actually change!

Our anniversary fun didn't stop there as despite having a cold and sneezing every two minutes, I decided that yes I did want to go out to Pizza Express, not in Brighton but more locally, so off we went and Dave waited in Jeremy (the Nissan Almera) in the service road behind the shops for me to quickly scout around for my daughter's birthday present.  I couldn't find anything, so climbed back into the passenger seat and Dave turned the key and hit the ignition button, and...nothing. Not a sausage. There had been a slight ongoing car saga which he thought he'd solved, but evidently not.  Broken cars on dark rainy drives that need to be mended in the next few hours if life is to continue have been a constant in our family life, and symbolic to Dave of failure, struggle, not being able to afford to call a man to do it, trying to keep everything functioning against the odds, that sort of thing.  Thanks to the work we have been doing on our perception of our lives we were able to burst out laughing hysterically at the irony of it all, before jump starting the thing and continuing on to a nice drink in the pub and a pizza.

The rest of the week was a little strange, due to me having to postpone some clients, and not work in clinic because of the cold.  I felt ok, but you just can't be a therapist or breastfeeding support worker who sneezes and snuffles at people because they leave feeling like they definitely will have caught a cold, and that's not the aim!  In the absence of work, and with the cold, I slipped into a bit of a low mood, despite trying to talk myself out of it.  Moods and feelings are what they are, so I just went with it, cried a lot about nothing I could actually name, and felt better by the weekend.  I do experience this every few months or so, related to moon phases and also affected by my diet and exercise patterns.  I'm looking at these feelings as a gift, and endeavouring to see the message they bring.  Usually it is 'be kinder to yourself' .  As many people are beginning to realise in their lives, that's a big one!

Friday was playschool nativity.  Watching the little ones in my grandson's year (he didn't fancy being a camel thank you very much) was a tender and sweet thing, especially as it's the same ladies running it as when my children were performing it.  Seeing the passage of time like that always makes me feel a little of something like sadness or nostalgia, almost like a loss, a sweet sharp pain.

Late Friday night, eyes wanting to close, I baked my famous and usually delicious brownies for the doula and midwife forum in Brighton on Saturday morning.  This is a wonderful thing, to meet with midwives outside of the birth room, so we can get to know one another a bit and also understand the various challenges each profession experiences.  The morning was great, my brownies were not, then I met Dave and Lily, my daughter who lives in Brighton, for a tea and mooch round, before home and a trip to the pub to see my favourite band.  We had great chats in between sets with the band guys who have become our friends, saw two of our extended family's kiddos for hugs and chats too.  The pub they were playing at was in Lewes, where we socialise a lot due to bonfire and other old connections, so when that closed, I couldn't resist diving into another before we got to the car park, for a quick bop to their band's last couple of numbers.  Thence down to our bonfire HQ, to buy tickets for the new year bash from the lovely but knackered landlord Paul.  The place was full of celebration, looking suitably wrecked by a wedding or some such, and their band was playing 'Fairy tale of New York' so there was nothing else to be done but to dance in the garden by the open window and sing along to that one, as it is our song.  Dave in his winter overcoat and me in my shirt sleeves (menopausal flush) well past midnight, December 18th.


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