hair, happiness, health.

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Oncology



It's quiet and cold at home, and I have plenty to be getting on with, but it feels like I'm waiting for something.  I'm up to date with the doctors, and on a new round of pills, and she has confirmed that she can't find a reason for my constant nagging back pain.  I must have just strained it, doing all this laying about.

She read out my biopsy result: 'atypical hyperplasia'.   The GP said she didn't know what that meant, the consultant would explain, and that an appointment should be through soon, so I left it at that.

The dog and I went for a walk across the farmland in brilliant winter sunshine and the air was as cold as a steel knife.  We made it a long walk, and as I put my key in the door and picked up the letter laying on the mat, I thought of hot tea.  Boots off, kettle on, letter open.  Come and discuss your biopsy results with the gynaecological oncology team.  Oh.  Ok. That tells me quite a bit about how the next few months might go.  I guess I need to Google 'atypical hyperplasia', which must be cancerous or pre-cancerous cells, as the oncology team are now taking care of me.  Standing in my arctic kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil, I let the unwritten but certain knowledge sink in that I was going to lose my womb to a hysterectomy.

I know this sounds mad, but after the initial shock came relief.  My body relaxed, knowing that finally, someone had heard and understood its cries for help.

I'll keep you posted.
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